The COVID-19 pandemic we’re all living through is scary and life-changing. It’s one of those things we’ll tell our grandchildren about—on par with the way life changed during world wars or the Great Depression. It’s bigger than a lot of previous social shifts, not only because of its tragic outcomes, but also because it’s affecting so many of us at once and changing every aspect of life from the most significant (work, income, health) to the mundane (the availability of basic products).
Anything this big creates the opportunity for new thinking. If the size of the crisis is associated with the amount of new learning it can generate, surely our brilliance will be magnified many-fold when we emerge in the new normal.
New and expanded points of view are generally a good thing. In fact, the roots of the word “emergency” come from the Latin “emergere” meaning to rise up or out. Here are a handful of lessons we’ll surely learn—building our capabilities for the years to come:
Lessons in Finding Perspective
Patience. We had a friend who used to say, “Push your patience button,” when his toddler son was getting antsy. This is certainly an opportunity to learn to do the same for yourself. Whether you’re hoping for your work to return to normal, waiting for the quarantine to lift or just holding out until you can eat in your favorite restaurant again, patience is the name of the game. It’s true that patience is a virtue—and you’re developing it now.
The Long View. With a narrow perspective, current reality can be even more challenging, but by taking a longer-term view, you can reassure yourself that current realities will shift, and good things will come—ultimately—from today’s experiences and lessons. As Warren Buffet said, “Someone is sitting in the shade today because someone else planted a tree a long time ago.” A study by Boston University School of Medicine found a sense of longer term purpose in the children of centenarians contributed to wellbeing. We are part of a cataclysmic time. As my friend Anita says, “When I was a little girl, I thought history was something that happened to other people.” The lesson—that living in this period is part of a greater whole of history—and we will get through it.
Lessons in Resilience and Response
Adaptability. This is a time when everything feels off-kilter, out of balance and uncertain. You are constantly having to reset and re-orient. Just when you’ve adapted to your company sending you home to work, you have to adjust to a pay cut. Or just when your partner has been furloughed from work, you have to adjust to your children’s school being cancelled for the remainder of the academic year. Constant change can be disorienting, and this is hard both mentally and emotionally. Research shows that resilience is enhanced by having a clear view of reality, a sense of meaning and an ability to improvise. In addition, according to professor de Weerd-Nederhof of the University of Twente, resilience is both a personality trait and a skill. Hard times may be easier if it’s part of your character, but it’s also a competence (a muscle, really), you can develop through today’s challenging times.
Creativity. A colleague says working from home is especially distracting because of all the chores she is reminded she must do. Her hack is to do micro-tasks while she’s on breaks from meetings. At the same time she’s grabbing another cup of coffee, she will spray cleanser in the tub, or during her lunch break she’ll fold a bit of laundry. Your hacks may be more sophisticated—perhaps you’re finding new ways to entertain the kids with creative activities, or you’ve found a breakthrough new solution to a problem you’ve been trying to solve at work. Regardless of whether it’s a simple hack or a significant innovation, challenging times which force you out of your typical routines can be a boon for creativity. Embrace your new ideas and leverage your expanded perspectives in the new days ahead.
Lessons About Community
Connections. Nothing is automatic anymore and you can’t just run into people at the coffee shop on your way to work or the work café over lunch. On the other hand, you’re learning just how important friends and coworkers are. According to Susan Pinker in The Village Effect, we are wired for human connection. When we have to put more effort into maintaining relationships, we learn just how important they are. You likely have the opportunity to find new ways to stay in touch whether through video conference, text chains or even shouting across the street to neighbors as you respect physical distances. New research published in the Journal of Consumer Psychology also reveals staying connected via social networks or microblogging can be good for your mental and emotional health. However you choose to link with others is up to you. The lesson is in the importance of strong relationships.
Gratitude. Being grateful for everyday things and people is critical to happiness. This is a time when you can expand your gratitude many-fold. Whether you’re appreciating the companionship of a pet, extended time with family or the bond you’re building with coworkers through shared tough times, there are plenty of opportunities to be grateful. You can also be especially grateful for healthcare and other essential workers—not to mention the people whose roles you are trying to emulate—teachers, childcare providers or restaurant workers. When you have to do more for yourself, you realize how much you typically rely on those around you—and how meaningful their specialized skills and contributions are.
Lessons in Managing Yourself
Self-Discipline. Let’s face it, 24x7 access to the pantry is hard. So is the temptation to binge-watch your favorite show rather than exercise. This is a great time to learn new approaches to managing your behavior and building new habits. If the typical new habit is built in 21 days, you’ll have plenty of time for self-improvement. One suggestion comes from Atomic Habits by James Clear. Associate your new habit with your identity, “I am not a person who raids the pantry all day,” or “I am a person who eats heathy food.” In addition, you can create a new habit by linking it to an old habit. If you want to do more deep breathing, you can remember to do that while you’re doing dishes or watering plants—something you already do regularly.
Self-Care. Taking care of yourself in basic terms is more important than ever. You have the opportunity to expand your personal wellbeing by eating well, exercising and getting enough sleep. Why We Sleep by Matthew Walker is a terrific book about how important sleep is for all elements of our physical, emotional and mental wellbeing. Among the most important ways to get better sleep: Go to sleep and wake up at approximately the same time each day on weekends and weekdays.
Lessons in Finding Happiness
Expectations. You want to be optimistic and always hope for the best. But, reducing your expectations can mean that even simple joys can create greater opportunities for happiness. Japanese musician, Dr. Shinichi Suzuki pioneered the Suzuki method of music instruction and guided hundreds of children via his child-centered, listening-based, esteem-building method. Legend has it at one point, Dr. Suzuki taught a child who had one severely disfigured arm. He figured out how to have the child play in the opposite fashion than is considered normal—holding the violin on the right and bowing with the left hand. She was able to make beautiful music. Her experience is an example of how an absence of expectations can make it possible to find effective solutions. When you’re not limited by current approaches, you can see more opportunities. You have expectations of what your normal life should be—how you live, what you do, what you buy, whom you see—but lifting those expectations opens you up to new possibilities for happiness and fulfillment. Virtual happy hours, drive-by birthdays or even yoga in your neighborhood cul-du-sac are now viable alternatives you may never have considered in normal times.
You’re stretching beyond any limits you might have thought you had—not by choice—but by necessity. The good news is these hard times can be the catalyst for new habits, behaviors and lessons. You’re finding perspective by learning to operate your patience button (or just find it) and taking the long view. You’re learning more about resilience and your response by expanding your adaptability and coming up with creative hacks. You’re reinforcing your appreciation for community by connecting with others and embracing gratitude. And you’re managing yourself in new ways with self-discipline and self-care. Perhaps best of all, you’re finding new paths toward happiness. All of these will pay off for you today, but also in the new normal of tomorrow.